Potential can eventually become a dirty word. We begin our lives with "potential." Poems, written in third grade, are marked by the teacher's promise that we have the "potential to be the next Emily Dickinson." A well-sung aria is imbued with the promise of a career, culminating in a life of performances at Lincoln Center. Imagined, limitless promises of potential shine through every young person's achievements.
Then comes the work of investing the 10,000 hours "needed" to become an expert in a chosen field. Through the day-to-day work, the promise of personal potential becomes bruised by small failures, misguided attempts, and walks down paths less-traveled that were less-traveled for a reason.
The promise of realized potential starts to become less of a promise of good things to come, and more of promises not kept. But there is also strength, a potent strength, that is realized through the failures, misguided attempts, and unkept promises. A potent wisdom of perspective only gained from trying, failing, learning, growing, and trying again.
Inherent in the word potential is a promise of actualization. A promise that at some point in the future, the potential for beauty, success, and transformation will become a reality. But, it is rarely realized. The person talking of potential is imagining the "perfect storm" of elements coming together to make something imagined a reality. Life is just too messy and the universe too chaotic for this to happen with any great regularity. Yet, contrary to the reality around us, we hold tight to the promise of our potential, our dreams, of what could or might possibly happen.
I have had enough "pick yourself up and brush yourself off'" moments to have the wisdom to know that the promise of my potential will not be realized in this lifetime. It is a sad realization. One that I am guessing many humans the world over have at some point in their life- this is my point. But, I also know in my heart that going forward regretful, bitter, or sad that I was unable to actualize every imagined promise of perfection would ruin all the potential imperfect contributions that I have yet to make.
The wisdom learned from my failures and my struggles to reach my own potential has given me this perspective...I need the promise inherent in potential and I must balance it with the realization that I will almost never make it to the end. I will almost never achieve mastery or expertise in any of my chosen pursuits. Even my use of the word "almost" demonstrates my desire to leave open the possibility of perfection. But here is where the algebraic concept of asymptote helps.
Asymptote: "A straight line that a curve approaches but never quite reaches" (Pink, 2009). Even in nature, there are things that strive to connect, to intersect, to meet; yet, will never, ever get there. It is a strong statement, "to never, ever..." But, there is also power there. To know one's limits, to know that it is okay not to make it all the way, to feel that potential is not wasted regardless of all the attempts. For me, it is the realization that my work is never done, will never be done, and a life of "potentials" will always be there for me to work towards. Continuing to reach is the balm for my bruised spirit and riding the unending curve of potentials is my comfort. I am trying to be gentle enough with myself and those around me and accept that I can use my strength, wisdom, and perspective to find joy in the process of asymptote potential- that continuing to try is enough.
What keeps you reaching?
You are very brave to begin blogging. :) The things that keeps me reaching are my kids, my faith, and unfortunately, social pressures or perceived expectations. Some are positive and some are negative, but all keep me reaching toward that best self you have always told me about. I think it's there inside me, but so many things prevent it from shining through in the day to day. How often do we listen to that small, still voice of truth inside? Is it our deepest self, the Holy Spirit, or I ate human instinct? Probably not often enough. To do so we have to be quieter and move slower, exactly the opposite direction of society in a tweeting generating.
ReplyDeleteThat should say "innate". Darn auto correct...
ReplyDeleteWhat you say about perceived expectations is the thing that resonates with me. I often wonder if I have a negative perception of the word "potential" because I think that any statement of potential brings with it an inherent expectation that I do what I have potential for. I wonder if I listened more to that small voice that you mention, Rachel if I would actually feel more satisfied with what I have already accomplished, instead of focusing on what I could still accomplish.
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